I Can NOT Win.

Dave has this annoying habit of talking to his phone. He has voice capability (but not access to that bitch Suri thank God) and so I'll say "Google what President Harding died of" and he'll say it in his phone. It is the most irritating thing EVER. Really. So this is how it went down last night.

Dave-I have good news

Me-Did you get a raise?

Dave-pause....No, I mean good news.

Me-A raise would be good news

Dave-I got an e-mail from Direct TV.

Me-(thought bubble-this can't be good)

Dave-and they have informed me I can now use my phone as a television remote.

Me-(not fully understanding the implications of this yet) Well, bully for you.

Dave-So that means..

Me-(holy crap...)

Dave-that I can speak a TV selection into the phone and the TV will change to that channel.

Me-silence

Dave-Yes, I can say Psych and it will go to Psych. I can say GREEN BAY PACKERS and we will be watching football. This is going to be great.

Me-Great? No. There are no words to describe my feelings right at this moment.

Dave-I KNOW it. I was a little overwhelmed by it too.

Me-I don't think we are overwhelmed for the same reasons.

Sometimes I think I should live alone.