Well, here we are, another bright Monday morning. Well, maybe not so bright, a little cloudy, but Monday all the same. Weekends just aren’t long enough, are they?
I am going to do a long rambling blog about how, after the death of Mother, things are a little weird. (That’s the intro spoiler alert). The days march on, and the everydayness of life continues. Another milestone happened-
Katie Graduated (and I couldn’t be there-sad about that but so happy for her-my brilliant and talented only niece)
Cody went to bootcamp and we lost track of him for a week. When he finally called he didn’t have much time because he had to spend his phone time talking to Marel. Jeesh. Yes, they will be taking care of me in my old age, thank you very much.
And as happy as I am for everyone and their accomplishments, I find that there are days when the slightest thing will drag me off into an undertow of sadness and tears, emotional seas I just can’t seem to navigate. Then, skies clear, sails fill, and off I go on tack again.
I’ve come to believe this is called grief. When Mother died, we were all relieved for her in a way, it was very bittersweet. And there were things to do and people to see and places to go. But after all is said an done, and quiet sets in, those little moments of sadness come to call. I think of Mother everyday. Mother’s Day also came and went, and my friend Nancy wrote to say that Mother’s day gets easier, or maybe it just hurts less. Who knows. As Sara Bareilles says, in the song, “this territory goes uncharted”.
But, as I said, life goes on and so I keep running, and last weekend I ran at Point Defiance, where it’s getting greener every week.
And I stopped to smell the roses-ok, I stopped to check out the Rhodies-
And then Grampa and I travelled over to our old neighborhood to look at the biggest Rhododendron bush EVER
Yeah, it’s as big as a house….
G-Pa for scale….
And then we went and smelled more roses-ok-again we went to look at the Rhodie park at Point Defiance-
And we got a new cat tower, which has turned out to be a huge hit with the fans..
So there’s much to be happy about, it’s just that when it comes to Mother, well, it’s all Uncharted.
(Though I may be going down
I'll take in flame over burning out…..)